Worst month ever?

So, I’m gonna level with you guys. There are so many clear and obvious reasons as to why I don’t post on here as much as I once did that it kind of doesn’t make any sense. I mean you ever have a period of time in your life where you feel like someone must truly be out to get you? I have. That time ladies and gentlemen is called June. This June has been such a fucking pain in my ass that if I were given the choice between repeating the month or a hot genital wax while  chewing prechewed gum, I’d truly take the latter 100 times over. Depression is not even remotely the word my good people. However, right now I am on a bit of a mountain,and I’m looking up thinking, “Is the only place that I can go now really up?”, “Am I being stupid for believing that I was ever anything moe than a man child born into this dog eat dog world to be…well eaten?” “What if I am truly just destined to fail?” All these thoughts and more are things that hopped, skipped and jumped across my mind, but after all of those questions, I am still left with one more. “Why the hell am I still here?”

After as much nonsense and pain, and all other sorts of uncomfortable words that I have gone through, Why in the world am I not dead yet? I thought about it and sort of had an angel devil moment with myself.

Angel- You’re not dead yet because you still have a purpose. You may not have a complete game plan for how you are going to get yourself together, but I am confident that you will very soon and you will execute it with ease.

Devil- Wasn’t that sweet? A little touching moment for you, something to cheer you up huh? Wait, wait, let me try, “When you wish upon a star, something bullshit something else” haha, sorry I can’t help myself. Really in all seriousness though, you’re beyond fucked my dude. Accept it.

Angel- Shut up Asshole!!(Yeah my angel is a bit different) Look, you may be going through some rough times right now, but you can handle it. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

Devil- Yea, don’t let anyone tell you anything different. Even though there are way more people that would say that you are screwed.

Angel-But look at the lives of those people. They aren’t happy themselves. If you really look at it, you can definitely do this. Just think. You’re still alive. You. You Isaiah, you are still here. Just relax, and get your head together and I promise you will be alright.

Then they both just disappear. I can do this. I believe this now. I have no idea how, but somehow, I’m going to come out of this better than I ever have, and to those of you that doubt me, only the future will reveal my words to be true.


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